Top 10 #Woke Pick-Up Lines for Valentine’s Day

by Alejandra Padín-Dujon

Hello, all you sexy scholars. It’s almost V-Day, and here at DOWN we’re feeling the love. In fact, we’re feeling so Democratic-socialist generous that we’re opening our playbook to the masses. Hot off the press, we humbly present our #woke pick-up lines.

For the comrade:

Are you a Marxist? Because you’re leading the uprising in my lower class.


For the cultured:

Do you like linguistic anthropology? ‘Cause I’d let you study my tongue.


For the Political Science major:

hey girl

For anyone:

What are your preferred pronouns? ‘Cause mine are “us” and “we.”


For me:

Do you like liberation theology? ‘Cause I could make you see God.


For the deconstructionist:

Gayatri Spivak wonders “Can the Subaltern Speak?” but I’d talk dirty to you all night.


For the nationalist:

Hey baby, are you postcolonial? ‘Cause I don’t do missionary.


For the One:

Hey baby, are you a Black feminist? ‘Cause I fell for you bell hooks, line, and sinker.


For the environmentalist:

I don’t use chlorofluorocarbon, but I bet we can still turn up the heat.


For the sex-positive:

I educated myself so you don’t have to.