by Alejandra Padín-Dujon
Hello, all you sexy scholars. It’s almost V-Day, and here at DOWN we’re feeling the love. In fact, we’re feeling so Democratic-socialist generous that we’re opening our playbook to the masses. Hot off the press, we humbly present our #woke pick-up lines.
For the comrade:
Are you a Marxist? Because you’re leading the uprising in my lower class.
For the cultured:
Do you like linguistic anthropology? ‘Cause I’d let you study my tongue.
For the Political Science major:
What are your preferred pronouns? ‘Cause mine are “us” and “we.”
Do you like liberation theology? ‘Cause I could make you see God.
For the deconstructionist:
Gayatri Spivak wonders “Can the Subaltern Speak?” but I’d talk dirty to you all night.
For the nationalist:
Hey baby, are you postcolonial? ‘Cause I don’t do missionary.
For the One:
Hey baby, are you a Black feminist? ‘Cause I fell for you bell hooks, line, and sinker.
For the environmentalist:
I don’t use chlorofluorocarbon, but I bet we can still turn up the heat.
For the sex-positive:
I educated myself so you don’t have to.