How did you guys meet?
Zoe Hopson: So we probably first met just within the CC crowd and then went to winter formal together first-year.
Selorm Tamakloe: For the winter formal, people in Ben Franklin, my residential college, they set me up with her. And I actually guessed it was gonna be her. It was a secret. I guessed it was her two days beforehand. Because she was all around me.
ZH: Cause I didn’t know him that well. And he was at a party in Davenport. So I was like, “Okay, I’ll get to know him and talk more so I know it won’t be awkward.”
ST: I was like, why is she talking to me so much? (laughs)
ZH: Yeah…a little too obviously. And then yeah, we went to winter formal, we had a really good time. We just went as friends though and then we worked at the House together.
ST: Yeah I think when we started working at the House that when we really started to…
ZH: We really got close, yeah.
When did you guys realize you liked each other?
ST: I think I noticed that I started to like her when we’d be at the House and I would do things. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone that I wouldn’t do with other people.
ZH: I had this man dancing in the office. It was crazy.
ST: It was wild. I think my favorite memory was when we were both on shift and her family called in from Mexico. And they were wondering who she was with, and I just met her whole family via FaceTime, and they were questioning me, and we weren’t even dating or anything like that. But they were like “treat her well,” and I was like “okay…”
ZH: I don’t know. I just had a really good time hanging out in the House and just goofing off. We were on the same team so we spent a lot of time together, and I just kind of noticed myself going to the House even when I wasn’t on shift or hanging out in Ben Franklin a lot more which is far and not worth my walk.
[in the House] we would play Carmen Sandiego. We played Google or Google Maps games.
ST: Any game that made us travel around the world.
Favorite date?
ZH: We went to a spa in New Jersey for a whole day which was really fun. We just relaxed, chilled, kind of goofed off, tried something new, and got away from campus. It was really nice and relaxing.
ST: That was a good date. It was my first spa. My favorite date was when I took you to a picnic in Louisiana. That was the first time I had ever put in a lot of effort. I got a place, got all these materials, packed lunch, and I just went at it. I was really proud of myself for putting in the effort and seeing you smile and it made me happy, and it made it worth it in the end.
What was it like meeting each other’s family? Any differences or similarities?
ZH: Well I know you. (referencing the interviewer, Selorm’s twin sister)
ST: Her brothers were big, and I was like, “dang, I gotta get big because I can’t be the small one.”
ZH: And I was terrified to meet your parents.
ST: I was not terrified to meet her parents. I was more terrified of how social they are. They’re just really a big family and loud, lots of personalities, but that’s what also made it fun. It didn’t require me to exert myself in a social setting. It did make me see why she’s so bubbly as a person.
ZH: I was very nervous that [Selorm’s parents] wouldn’t like me. Or not that they wouldn’t like me, but because I think our families are so different. Y’all are just quieter, and I don’t know how to act or do anything.
ST: I think another thing was the cultural difference. I feel since we’re Ghanaian Americans raised in the US, I understand Black American cues. But I had to teach Zo some things that Mummy and Fa might want to expect. I think that’s what also made her worry. They be asking a lot of questions. They would want to know what your parents do and who they are for example.
ZH: Yeah I was definitely nervous about the cultural difference. They were nice; very kind. We talked about school a lot.
Advice for people looking for love?
ZH: One: make sure you’re in a place where you’re loving yourself. That you’re in a place where you can set boundaries for yourself because I think part of being in a relationship is making sure you’re your own individual while also being in a partnership. So I think it’s really important to make sure that you are an individual person. You don’t have to be really sure, we’re in college we don’t know who we are, but just somewhat like not looking for yourself in another person and knowing who you are. And yeah don’t rush it. Love will come. It comes in a lot of mysterious ways and when you least expect it. I think patience is key, and being open to it but not rushing it.
ST: Yeah that was really good. That would be my second thing. My first thing would definitely be putting yourself out there. I think that’s what got me with Zo. Because if I didn’t take a chance, then none of this would have developed into what it was.
ZH: (whispers) I put myself out there. I put myself out there.
ST: Okay. You put yourself out there. But I had to take a risk with it. A lot of times I would say no to these things because I would be worried about it. I’d be like, is this the right person? But at the same time, we’re college students. We’re young; we shouldn’t have grand expectations just meet a person where they are and then it’ll go from there.
How has your love grown these two years? How have you grown? How will you continue to grow?
ST: I think the way my love has grown, it’s taught me how to put into others rather than just myself. I try to support Zo in many ways, and sometimes it can be exhausting. But at the same time, I’ve learned from her, and the way she’s treated me and tried to help other people through the same methods Zo helped me with. Yeah, I think that’s how my life has grown over the past two years. I’m learning from [Zo], and I’m excited to keep learning from [her].
ZH: It definitely taught me how to be more vulnerable with my feelings and open about how I’m feeling. It’s interesting being in a relationship has taught me more about how to love myself. Because, before, loving others came very naturally and very easily to me, almost to the detriment of loving myself. So I think being in a committed partnership for two years, it would be hard to be in that relationship and spend two years pouring into someone else without pouring into yourself. So being in a relationship has definitely taught me to balance the two and to see the love that Selorm gives to me and to be like, “Okay this is something that I am worthy and deserving of and can produce for myself, while also loving Selorm.
Selorm grounds and balances me. I think I was very famously a wildcard. I think this is a situation or relationship that is very grounding and something I can center myself in which is really nice, and something that I want to keep growing in is balance. I don’t have to be a wildcard all the time. I can be chill and calm and think logically instead of emotionally. I have learned a lot from Selorm and the way he thinks and sometimes over thinks. It reminds you to take a step back and analyze things sometimes. So I’m definitely growing more in that.
ST: In the same boat, Zo has taught me to be more spontaneous and just go with the vibes and the flow. I don’t always have to be in my head and think that I need to know every answer. Sometimes things just need to be and you’ll get by just fine. I very much appreciate that because it’s shown me that I don’t need to rush everything; I can take things one step at a time. And that in itself is very grounding to me. And I think that we’ll grow more through grounding each other.
Kelsey Tamakloe ‘ 22
