By Humyra Karim ’26
SHARE is available to all members of the Yale community who are dealing with sexual misconduct of any kind, including sexual assault, sexual harassment, stalking, intimate partner violence, and more. Counselors are available any time, day or night, at the 24/7 hotline: (203) 432-2000.
Early September (the first week of classes) Friday night:
Giggling and cold, running around Old Campus my friend Lana and I are on a quest to go to a party. More importantly, a fun party. No awkward standing and socializing, we want to dance. To get lost in a crowd. To feel something more than the banality of class and homework. We go to one princess suite, then another, then another. No luck. We make our way to Vanderbilt and consider going to God Quad.
An hour later we find ourselves outside of rows of houses lined with people–largely first years–desperate to get in. As we stand below the (mainly white) men stationed on their house’s respective porches, yelling, leering, staring, and denying people access to their parties with grins on their faces, I feel my stomach start to sink. I make eye contact with a frat brother at the door and watch as my worth is appraised before he turns away. “I won’t go inside a frat,” says Lana. Feeling the buzz of the night wear off, I turn. “Yeah, let’s go back.”
On the walk home, we run into our mutual friend Ally and make plans to go thrifting the next day. I forget about the way the guy at the door stared at me, at least until my next night out.
I never expected Yale to be so fratty. Or at the very least, I didn’t expect the social scene to be so reliant on frats, social clubs, and sports houses. Honestly, I didn’t even believe Yale had frats until my first week when I heard constant discussions of, “who’s throwing tonight” and a barrage of greek letters being thrown around. The common claim is that frats are easy to avoid if you want but I’m not sure if I believe that’s the truth.
On my first night at Yale, I was asked if I planned to rush a Sorority. I laughed like it was a joke. With full sincerity, the other girls in the room began to discuss the pros and cons of groups I didn’t even know existed. And despite my reservations about the greek life system and culture, I can’t claim to not comprehend why it exists and why people join it. After all, there’s certainly demand. Whether by underage first years, extracurriculars looking to hold events, or just plain-old-simple college students wanting to party, there is a constant supply of eager young adults ready to swarm the stairs of fraternities every Friday and Saturday. And additionally enough people excited about the prospect of joining greek life through promises of community and a set social calendar to allow for its continued existence and prominence in campus life.
All of my first semester I was plagued by this phenomenon. What happened to everyone who was anti-Greek life in high school? What happened to all the feminists? I thought coming into Yale the supposed “progressive” “educated” majority would all collectively avoid fraternities and sororities and social clubs. Yet even my own resolve slowly crumbled the more I went out and the larger my circles became. Instead of only attending dorm parties, I started going to Zeta. Then crew house. Then Luther, Edon, Sig Chi, Chi Si, and–most recently–Fence. And I imagine the longer I attend Yale the list will only continue to grow. So what now of my morals? What now of my beliefs? How can I pretend to believe this moralized, anti-institution, anti-fraternity rhetoric when I find myself attending parties in the same spaces I’m supposedly against?
To comfort my cognitive dissonance surrounding attending parties at frats and social clubs I told myself that at the very least I’m not a part of them. That mental distinction allowed me to continue existing in the grey space between “goes to frat parties” and “condones greek life.”
Early January (the first week of classes):
“Did you get the Edon Rush email?”
“Uh no….. Can you forward it to me?”
“Yeah. We should rush for the bit!”
“….. I’ll think about it”
January brought on a new layer to this conflict. Rushing. After Edon’s rush sign-up email was sent out, more of my friends and acquaintances than I ever expected began the vaguely degrading process of rush meals with current Edon members. People, specifically women, non-men, and queer people of color flocked to rush Edon. This came as a surprise to me, as in my mind, Edon was still firmly situated amongst other Greek life institutions despite claiming to be distinct from Greek life culture because of its co-ed nature. As previous writers at The Yale Herald and Broad Recognition have pointed out, the integration of women and gender minorities into the model of greek life does not fundamentally dismantle the patriarchal systems these institutions uphold. So then why did most of my friends see Edon as this great exception?
The existence of groups like Edon and Fence relied on most people’s mental separation of them from typical definitions of Greek life. Edon, in most people’s minds, isn’t a frat. It is a social club, or at the very least a frat with a relatively diverse membership. One that still throws weekly parties, is built on exclusion and often nepotism, has a strenuous and time consuming pledge process, and instills an insular group culture that is an hallmark rape-culture and victim blaming. Additionally the disaffiliated nature of Yale social clubs creates less avenues and structures for accountability within individual groups.
When I asked why many of my friends were rushing Edon, most claimed they were curious about it and wanted to learn more about its culture. Many cited knowing fellow BIPOC and queer upperclassmen they thought were “cool”, “interesting”, and “smart” within Edon for loosening their view towards Greek life. A perspective I understand. Many of my seniors in various clubs— whose experiences and intellect I find inspiring— are members of Edon, Fence, or sororities. My Cultural Connections counselors, who I deeply admire and respect, are involved with Greek life. So there must be something of merit within these institutions. Right?
In my opinion, the factor that sets apart groups like Edon, Fence, and other sororities Greek Life™ is the position of these groups at Yale University. I have many friends who would consider rushing fraternities or sororities unthinkable at any public, less-exclusive University.
At Yale we’re told our student body is more progressive and more intellectual than the average college campus. Whether or not this is true is subject to debate but it creates the mentality that Yale students and Yale-affiliated groups are somehow exempt from broader American culture’s social ills. This mentality privileges the actions we take as Yale students as though we are uniquely different. I know multiple women who rushed sororities and social clubs here, who expressed that they would never consider rushing a sorority at a public or southern university because of the culture. The idea that Yale organizations are different from other similar organizations at other universities is also based on the idea that the harm these organizations cause stems from individuals and not the structures these organizations uphold. This is the logic of co-ed frats.
Cis/Het/White/Men/Conservatives only = bad.
Women/Gays/BIPOC/Leftist = good!
Apparently, if you open up membership, rape culture will go away! Harm is only committed by people! Not the networks and power distributions that enabled those people to be present within them anyways!
End of January:
“Why are there eggshells on the floor?”
“Oh, it was tap night.”
“….”
Do I blame my marginalized friends and others for wanting to be a part of something that has historically excluded them? Not at all. I completely empathize! And I don’t write this out of malice or to cast judgment on those who did rush. I myself was at the Fence rush party last week! And aren’t we all here at this bigger institution anyways? One that has also historically othered and excluded marginalized groups? Unlike some of my more radical peers and classmates, I don’t know if I believe Geek life at Yale can be abolished. I don’t know if it should. To me the popularity of Greek life and social clubs results from a lack of safe spaces, to party and otherwise just exist, at this University for people of marginalized identities. I do however think the answer is not found in replicating or diversifying the same practices of elitism and harm that excluded marginalized people in the first place.
(Pseudonyms were used to protect privacy)
